September 4, 2012

The Problems of the Budget Bride

Okay, so I've been absent for quite some time.  Why?  Well let's just say my bridal thoughts have been less than rosy :P  I didn't want to be a Debbie Downer, so I figured it would be better to wait until calmer thoughts came around.

All brides need to do this periodically, including myself!
*deep breath* "I LIKE planning weddings" *deep breath* "I LIKE planning weddings"...

And you know what I realized?  That all brides put themselves through torture!  If we're not trying to create the most beautiful wedding, we're trying to have the most unique wedding, or trying to make everyone happy.

But even the budget brides may have a problem--we're trying too hard to save money.  We're trying to be those clever brides out there who find the diamond-in-the-rough, that seemingly perfect gem that doesn't break the bank, yet forfills all our wedding needs.

Well...what if the venues you find that are affordable are horribly complicated?  Sure, you find a pretty empty rental space for cheap, and you find an affordable caterer.  But then who's coordinating the vendors, buying the booze, hiring the bartenders, renting the tables/chairs/plates/silverware/etc, setting up the space?  Yeah, that falls on you unless you find that diamond-in-the-rough wedding planner for cheap too :P

So you find close to what you're looking for, a venue that covers the basics, has an in-house coordinator, is different and beautiful, can have a ceremony and reception onsite, has great food...wait?  It costs HOW MUCH?!?  *faints on floor*

So then, we either leave the fabulous venues behind, because we are too stubborn to pay the piper, or, if you're like me, you beat yourself up for spending that much money.

What are we doing?!  This is supposed to be enjoyable, not a road of disapointment!

What every bride who scans the bridal blogosphere needs to realize is ALL weddings are inspiration, but just that.

Just like the bride who has the 6-tier cake, the bride who snags the $1500 caterer for 150 is just as unreachable for most of us.

An extravagant, custom wedding cake.
Weddingbee's Mrs. Earrings beautiful and affordable tea party/picnic wedding.
I have to say Mrs. Earrings had one of my favorite budget weddings, but unfortunately a picnic tea party setting just isn't me

Am I saying that the budget bridal stories are just as damaging as the expensive bridal stories?  No.

But they both can give a bride unrealistic expectations, and that's what's dangerous here.

Because even though we want the prices of the wise budget brides, some of us may also want an evening wedding on a Saturday in May or October with a sit-down dinner and booze flowing freely. :P (Oh how my bridal vision keeps changing...more on that later...)

Yeah, I'm pretty much going against every budget reception tip in the book here.  And I need to accept that that brings the price up, and there's not much I do about it if I'm not willing to compromise on certain factors.

Well, I am willing to compromise on some, but my finance?  Another story XD  No one filled him in on the budget saving reception tips apparently! :P

I envisioned finding that perfect place for the perfect price, and I would post it here on my blog, and fellow brides would cheer! and my mother and mother-in-law would be impressed! and my finance could relax about finances! and all sorts of other delusional stuff like that XD

A high-fiving bride and groom cake topper.

And when it didn't happen?  I beat myself up about it, feeling guilty that I'm putting financial pressures on everyone around me and that I'm not saving enough money myself to single-handedly pay for the whole shindig and save everyone from financial torture.  This involved a lot of pouting, complaining, and being cranky and generally awful to be around whenever someone mentioned the wedding XP

Until I finally realized that I was being a whiny bitch and should just suck it up and enjoy picking my pretty venue for heaven's sake!

Why did it take me a month to figure this out?  No idea, but better to come late to the party than not at all, huh? XD